Sunday, February 28, 2016


Well, hello!

it has been years omg :o but anyway time flew SO fast i cant even keep track. SO much has happened since the last time i posted. i wanted to tell about everything that happened but it could take me hours and hours and hours and even days maybe haha. but anywayyyy, here's the highlight so far:

1. i am now in high school
2. i went to Adelaide, Australia for a short-term exchange program from school during my 10th grade year
3. i went to Jogjakarta for a military camp program from school during my 10th grade year
2. i did an exchange program to the US for 11 months and 2 weeks
3. i'm an 11th grader
4. i'm 17 and legal now, bitches!
5. i have a boyfriend<3
6. DWP!
7. member of the school council. again.

i will tell you guys about all of the highlights in the next posts. aaaah it's gonna be fun reminiscing back to the good ol' days haha. for me, though, the biggest highlight would probably be my exchange year abroad bcs it was SO. MUCH. FUN. that no words can describe. and i would like to share those memories with everyone, not to brag about it or anything tho, just wanted to share. c ya later!


Saturday, February 9, 2013

Not interested in life..

20.12.2012, a beautiful date right? But not really a beautiful day I guess. It was my birthday, but somehow,  I don't feel that happy. But still, I am very grateful for these 14 years God gave me. I know that there's always ups and downs in life, but lately, i've been through a lot and i guess..too much, with all of the pains that I feel. I'm not perfect, and so all of you guys. I have flaws. I made mistakes. I learn from that. People change. And sometimes, not to be the one you wanted them to be. But this is life, you can't always get what you want, right?

But, other than those sucky feeling i felt, there's always reasons for my laughter and smiles everyday. That person made my days were the most beautiful days in my life. We laugh together, we talk on phone for hours, we went here and there together, we fight, we get jealous, we shared secrets...but then, BOOM! I made the most horrible decision. I really want to blame myself, but i couldn't. It was not my fault for not feeling it anymore. And it wasn't also my fault i felt it again. And then he treats me like I'm invisible and not important. I feel like a piece of shit. I stared at him a lot. Well, carefully. Not letting myself to get caught staring at him or I'll embarrassed myself. I hate being treated like this. I hate how I get jealous seeing him talking a lot lot more with her, her, her, and her. I know I may be selfish or whatsoever, but i really don't care. I wish he knew what I feel. But I want him to be happy too. And if his "happy" is with other girl, then there's nothing I can do about it than move on. But I know that move on is fucking hard and won't be easy and will take time. I can't just forget him in a second. This sucks kay? I hate this feeling.

And sometimes I'm scared that I will feel the same feeling when i get earlier with that guy. I know he's somewhat different from other guys, but you know, they're guys. We, girls, never know what's on their minds right.


I've always wondered why that stupid thing always happened later. Why? Now we're that close anymore. I hate how when i get jealous, it affected my whole day, my whole attitude, my whole mood, my whole attention to lessons and I really don't want this stupid feeling. Even tho this "thing" started to happened, it won't be the same. I fucking hate the fact that even though I'm right THERE, he's still trying to make excuses to talk to her. It effing hurts.

Anybody ever had the feeling that committing suicide was your only option? You're really tired of all the things that's happening in your life and you think that the only think that can make that pain go is by committing suicide?

I know it's terrible to feel like that. But, from everything that've been going around me, is really killing me slowly. And I hate slow stuff. Why don't just take me away and everybody's happy? Or at least I need to run away from home where no one knows me and I want to have those people who will be there for you. Not only when you're feeling on top of the world, but also when you're feeling the worse of the worst.

Since I am "that" lonely, it scares me somehow that I won't have anymore like them anymore. They used to cheer me up. Now I have no one. Well, as in not like how it was back then. I knew I made mistakes. You guys too, I supposed. Some of you may have been in my position before, and you should've known what I feel. I wonder what were you thinking when you were in my place back then? Do you guys ever think that you don't want to feel that but you made others feel like what you felt. It's horrible. I'm not saying that I'm always true or else, but I just want to remind everyone, just don't make others feel the way you don't want to feel. Think. What if you are in their position right now? How tough will you be? And consider their other problems too. Problems aren't always from school. What about their family? You never think that they cry every single night holding a scissor or cutter trying to cut themselves but at the same time crying because she needs to stop trying to kill themselves? They still want to see the world. The beautiful Earth that God had created. They want to fall in love. They want to travel the world. They want all her dreams to come true. The want to have kids. But they're tired. Tired of pretending that everything's fine when everything is actually really wrong. Tired of faking tons of smiles every single day. They're tired okay? And they need someone to talk to, someone that let them cry in their shoulders, someone who will hug them when they're crying. They need a figure of a friend. That's it. They miss having close friends. That's all. They didn't really asking for something that's rare in this world. Well, guess it's rare though, to find a true friends.

I know, this little chit chat I wrote is a little deep whatsoever. But this is written from the deepest of my heart. This is just how I feel lately. And just so you guys know, I'm not judging anyone, I'm just talking. About my life, about what I feel, that's all. So, no offense.

So, yeah. Bye! :')

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Orang Ketiga

Saat berjumpa dan kau menyapa
Indah parasmu hangatkan suasana
Buatku tak percaya, mimpi indahku jadi nyata

Saat sendiri jalani hari
Bayang-bayangmu selalu menghampiri
Dan aku pun mengerti apa maunya hati ini

Namun tiba-tiba kau ada yang punya
Hati ini terluka
Sungguh ku kecewa, ingin ku berkata

Kasih maaf bila aku jatuh cinta
Maaf bila saja ku suka
Saat kau ada yang punya

Haruskah ku pendam rasa ini saja
Ataukah ku teruskan saja
Hingga kau meninggalkannya dan kita bersama

Namun tiba-tiba kau ada yang punya
Hati ini terluka (terluka)
Sungguh ku kecewa (sungguh ku kecewa) ingin ku berkata

Kasih maaf bila aku jatuh cinta
Maaf bila saja ku suka
Saat kau ada yang punya

Haruskah ku pendam rasa ini saja
Ataukah ku teruskan saja
Hingga kau meninggalkannya dan kita bersama

Akankah ada kesempatan untuk diriku menyatakan
Rasa yang selama ini ada

Kasih maaf bila aku jatuh cinta maaf bila kau jatuh cinta
Maaf bila saja ku suka maaf bila saja kau suka
Saat kau ada yang punya

Haruskah ku pendam rasa ini saja
Ataukah ku teruskan saja
Hingga kau meninggalkannya dan kita bersama

Kasih maaf bila aku jatuh cinta
Maaf bila saja ku suka
Saat kau ada yang punya

Haruskah ku pendam rasa ini saja
Ataukah ku teruskan saja
Hingga kau meninggalkannya dan kita bersama


I am somehow addicted to this song right now........ :')

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

School Project: Intranet

We (Dhito, Fadli, Vierra) have this school project thingy about intranet. And we were told to post this project on our blog.....so here it is.

Intranet itu jaringan pribadi untuk membagi informasi rahasia dalam suatu perusahaan kepada para karyawannya. Untuk membangun sebuah intranet sebuah jaringan harus memiliki komponen Protokol Internet (TCP/IP), klien dan server. Protokol HTTP, FTP, POP3/SMTP juga adalah merupakan komponen protokol yang sering digunakan.

Intinya, intranet adalah sebuah versi pribadi dari sebuah jaringan internet yang dimiliki sebuah organisasi.

Intranet mengandalkan biayanya yang murah, fleksibilitasnya, open standard, banyaknya vendor yang bergabung serta jaminan perkembangan teknologi. Intranet digunakan untuk membantu alat dan aplikasi untuk memajukan produktivitas. Intranet juga digunakan sebagai budaya perusahaan perubahan platform.
Bisnis yang lebih besar memungkinkan pengguna intranet untuk mengakses internet publik dengan server firewall dan memiliki kemampuan menangani pesan yang datang dan pergi.

Para pengguna intranet yang berpengalaman, editorial, dan tim teknologi bekerja sama untuk membuat sebuah website. Intranet dikelola oleh departemen komunikasi, HR atau  CIO organisasi besar.

Intranet memiliki beberapa kelebihan dan kekurangan tersendiri, antara lain:
1. Menjadi alat bantu untuk meningkatkan perkembangan dan pertumbuhan produk industri
2. Meningkatkan tanggapan terhadap keluhan dan kebutuhan pelanggan
3. Mampu menurunkan biaya atas kebutuhan informasi kolaborasi, workflow dan enterprise connectivity.
4. Suksesnya dukungan world wide yang memungkinkan pengguna yang luas karena digunakan masyarakat luas yang menggunakan internet.

1. Informasi yang kurang akurat dapat termuat dalam sistem intranet dan dapat mengurangi kredibilitas intranet yang dimiliki oleh organisasi.
2. Tersiarnya materi illegal dan oleh sebab itu perlu mengontrol akses melalui intranet.
3. Perlu pelatihan khusus untuk membangun dan mengembangkan intranet di sebuah perusahaan.
4. Perlu tenaga ahli untuk membangun dan mengembangkan intranet di sebuah perusahaan.
5. Bisa terjadi overload data akibat pengiriman pesan antar pengguna yang tidak dikontrol dengan baik.

Intranet pun memiliki beberapa manfaat untuk sekolah, diantaranya:
1. Membantu dalam pengajaran dan pembelajaran lebih mudah.
2. Membantu mengembangkan kurikulum.
3. Memberikan siswa lebih banyak informasi.
4. Membantu mengidentifikasi informasi yang berkualitas.
5. Membantu mengidentifikasi kebijakan yang relevan dan praktek profesional perpustakaan.

Selain Intranet, pastinya kita tau Internet; dan ada juga yang namanya  Extranet.
1. Internet: Sistem komputer umum yang berhubungan secara global menggunakan TCP/IP sebagai protokol pertukaran paket. Cara rangkaian ini dinamakan internetworking.

2. Intranet: Jaringan informasi internal suatu perusahaan yang untuk mengaksesnya memerlukan identifikasi pengguna dan password yang bertujuan agar tidak dapat diakses oleh pihak luar perusahaan.
3. Extranet: Jaringan pribadi yang menggunakan protokol internet dan sistem telekomunikasi publik yang memungkinkan orang-orang dari luar perusahaan untuk bekerja sama dengan pekerja yang ada di dalam perusahaan. Jaringan yang menghubungkan antara mitra-mitra bisnis melalui internet.


Monday, August 27, 2012

Tau yang namanya 'kangen' kan? Pernah ngerasain kan? Kalo kangen orang yang used to mean the whole world to you itu ngga salah kan? Because that's kinda what i feel right now and i feel pretty bad about it idk why. Atau kangen sama masa lalu yang kita lewatin sama orang yang kita sayang? Dan lo gatau mau ngelakuin apa buat ngobatin si kangen itu. Emang obat kangen itu susah ya. Tapi tiba2...dia nge greet lo segala macem. Nanya2in ini itu dan kayak dalam sekejap lo langsung seneng gitu dan ga nyangka. Rasanya lo pengen ngulang2 masa2 dulu lo sama dia, trus lo nyesel kalo nginget2 apa yang lo udah lakuin ke dia. Rasanya pengen banget ketemu dia trus meluk taugaksih. Well, at least itu yang gue rasain sekarang banget ini.

Atau lo pernah ngga deket sama orang dan emang deket banget. Lo sayang banget sama dia dan lo tau dia juga sayang sama lo. Well, tapi lo ngga tau tulus apa engga nya ya.... Tapi dia selalu aja bikin sakit hati lah bikin nangis lah bikin nyesek lah bikin seneng juga lah. Rasanya itu kalo udah ada deket dia itu nyaman banget bahagia banget. Tapi lo kayak tau kalo ini orang ngga tulus dan suka main belakang dan lo NGGA TAU apa yang harus lo lakuin. Lo sayang, sayang banget tapi sebel, sebel banget. Tapi sampe suatu saat itu kita ngga deket lagi dan bener2 udah ngga dianggep apapun sama dia. Sakit kan? SAKIT BANGET NYET.

Atau lo pernah ngga ngerasain suka sama orang tapi lo ngga mau suka sama dia somehow. Lo emang tau sebenernya kalo dia itu suka sama lo. Ituya kyknya lo emg suka karena setiap lo ngeliat deket sama cewek, lo nyesek nya kuadrat. Dan temen2 lo ngeceng2in lo berdua and you're not sure too if you start to fall for this person. Trus lo suka kawatir gitu dan lo pengen banget chat sama dia terus tapi dia ngga greet. Lo itu padahal pengen liat effort nya dia aja kalo dia emg bener2 suka sayang sama lo kan dia harus usaha dong gimana pun juga. Atau dia itu kalo chat suka boring dan lo ngga tau mesti ngeramein atau ngebuat seru tuh gimana dan diapun ngga berusaha sama sekali and end of conversation gitu aja.

Rada curhat ya gue ya?wkwkwk lanjut ah mumpung kan :p
Sekian dulu deh ya haha makin banyak curhatannya ntar-_-

bye, xo

Elegant Rose - Diagonal Resize 2